Who m'a gonna get...who aaam I gonna get? The question I asked myself before boarding the 19 hour bus ride from Madrid to Rennes where I would then catch a two hour train to Quimper, the home of my father as well as many fish products and varieties of cake all made with the same batter...
I sat down and awaited my destiny, the first person to take the seat was a large man from Togo who was so goddamn excited that I not only knew the location of Togo but also the capital (Lomé) that he took it upon himself to chat until my ears bled and opened my book midsentence, forcing myself to read through the bus nausea just so I didn't have to listen to his squabble anymore.
He got off after about 4 hours and here I am thinking I've won the travel lottery and I dont have to shoot myself in the head when another man got on. I tried to explain there was already someone sitting there but he sat down anyway which made for an awkward and uncomfortable journey when no one arrived to claim their seat.
Another 4 hours and at this point I'm sure it can't get worse until a large Spanish man with a gray, would-be flattened mowhawk/mullet had the top portion of his head not been bald sits down. He smelled like dirty garlic sink water the morning after you get drunk and decide to cook but pass out before you do the dishes. He also took it upon himself to casually ooze his large arm across our one shared armrest and into my seat. For all you fat people I would just like to say...just because YOU can't control your eating in combination with the fact that I happen to be a small person does not mean you get to take over any part of my seat. I paid for my space just like you and lard-induced self entitlement is unnacceptable, have a carrot.
Side note: Unless something ridiculous happens (which it always seems to in my life) this will probably be my last journey blog due to the fact that I head to Brussels tomorrow and hang out for a week before heading home to the land of English speaking, marshmallow fluff eating Americans. God Bless
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