Last weekend I stated that I was going to drink myself in oblivion and I am happy to report that drink I did...and drink and drink. Sunday morning I awoke with makeup down my face and a glorious headache that can only come from a brew of alcohol types complete with memories that appear in a kaleidoscopical form of view. My intentions to work on my collection seemed like a combination of ridiculous and hilarious so I made the executive decision to retrieve my blankie and become one with the couch for the remainder of the afternoon.
After accomplishing a whole lot of nothing, I got up ready to work with guns blazing on Monday morning. I spent the day constructing the base of a dress that would soon be regurgitated on by the bead fairy but came to a hault when I ran out of fabric which could only mean one thing: Joanne's (kill me). Thinking I could quickly grab the necessities (crepe, tulle, jelly beans) and skiddadle, I ran in and was pretty sure I had made it free and clear until I saw Friar Tuck working the register like a $5 hooker on the corner of some seedy downtown block. The stupidity never ceases to amaze me because out of my three item purchase, she managed to only scan two causing me to make seperate transactions and reconfirm why I despise the store.
Given that the Joanne's disaster for the day was minimal, I decided to brave A.C. Moore and get some beads for dress #3. I was looking for a dusty rose kind of glass bead and just my luck, the only bead in that color was a Swarovski crystal that were priced at a whopping $5/15 beads and just incase that wasn't enough, they come equipped with warning on the backside of the package that reads "This product contains a lead known to cause cancer or reproductive harm." I'd like to shake the hands of the fucktards manufacturing these products.
The good news is that this morning, as I was hard at work attaching my cancer-casuing sparkles, I kept losing my needles (4 in all). On the brink of throwing a tantrum the size of all the teased hair in Texas, I picked up my crappy dollar-store scissors and realized those bitches are magnetic and right there like a little pile of bliss were all my needles hanging out together...having a party.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
99 Cent Heart Attack
Yesterday was the very first critique in this class and we're supposed to get some good feedback based on peoples honest opinions of our garments but the class is founded on the principles of communism and camaraderie so the "criticism" is slightly honest, always positive and to say the least...not at all helpful. While its very nice to be sprinkled with rolly polly commentary like "That's successful but maybe a ruffle?" the real world doesn't work that way. Out here in the jungle it's dog-eat-dog, every man for himself. No one can benefit from sugar-coated cutsie bits of advice because big fish in little ponds drown in the ocean.
That being said, after the review I took it upon myself to ask the honest opinions from peers whom I knew would give me the real run down and the truth is: the more beads and opulence, the better it translates on a runway. I decided a short time ago that the microwave was the technological equivalent of the devil that was going to give us all cancer and I've been avoiding it like the plague but that all got relinquished on my trip to costco last night where I stocked up on cheap, quick-cooking goodies (easy mac and spaghettios) like a culinary-challenged man who lives alone. Bring on the late nights.
Side note: I knew the beading was affecting my depth perception when I went into the pantry to get some delicious raisins and promptly slammed the door on my head because I didn't realize I hadn't completely cleared the entry...God save the visually impaired.
That being said, after the review I took it upon myself to ask the honest opinions from peers whom I knew would give me the real run down and the truth is: the more beads and opulence, the better it translates on a runway. I decided a short time ago that the microwave was the technological equivalent of the devil that was going to give us all cancer and I've been avoiding it like the plague but that all got relinquished on my trip to costco last night where I stocked up on cheap, quick-cooking goodies (easy mac and spaghettios) like a culinary-challenged man who lives alone. Bring on the late nights.
Side note: I knew the beading was affecting my depth perception when I went into the pantry to get some delicious raisins and promptly slammed the door on my head because I didn't realize I hadn't completely cleared the entry...God save the visually impaired.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
My Life in Shambles
Tomorrow my first two completed looks are due in the Threads class and I'd just like to address everyone who knew the countless hours and undivided attention to detail required to hand bead things that didn't warn me before I embarked on this journey and say: shame on you you satanic little bastards. Lucky for me I'm naturally neurotic so after countless days and hundreds of beads, my garments somewhat resemble a gift from God.
In the mean time, the rest of my life has fallen spectacularly to pieces! Just this week I managed to develop a nice little virus on my computer that gets to pick and choose which websites it lets me on, the "check control" as well as the "check engine" lights in my car lit up, so I'm biding my time until that explodes, I've got what I'm pretty sure in a raging cavity party in my bottom left canine and I'm essentially living off of dots and 100 calorie snack packs. The rockbottom moment was pinpointed when my friend informed me that 100 calorie snack packs aren't really 100 calories if you eat five and have a fupa...
The better news? I don't have jack shit to do this weekend but order pizza and drink myself into oblivion while I wait for it to arrive...stay tuned for garments three and four progress/disasters.
In the mean time, the rest of my life has fallen spectacularly to pieces! Just this week I managed to develop a nice little virus on my computer that gets to pick and choose which websites it lets me on, the "check control" as well as the "check engine" lights in my car lit up, so I'm biding my time until that explodes, I've got what I'm pretty sure in a raging cavity party in my bottom left canine and I'm essentially living off of dots and 100 calorie snack packs. The rockbottom moment was pinpointed when my friend informed me that 100 calorie snack packs aren't really 100 calories if you eat five and have a fupa...
The better news? I don't have jack shit to do this weekend but order pizza and drink myself into oblivion while I wait for it to arrive...stay tuned for garments three and four progress/disasters.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
A Day No Lace Would Live
This past weekend was the NCSU College of Textiles open house and all of us slave laborers were supposed to be in the studio making the college look good by working on our projects while idiotic parents and their annoying spawn walk around and ask us what we're doing. However, everyone around here has been talking about this great fabric store in Gastonia, NC called Mary Jos and I wanted in on the loot so I informed my teacher that I wouldn't be attending because Raleigh is a wasteland for fabric where creativity comes to die (yes I actually said this) and I needed some legit resources instead of piddling away my time in the dungeon.
Open house free, I loaded up the car and trekked the 3 hours, just beyond Charlotte, to this fabric haven. I apparently was very unprepared because upon arrival I realized I didn't know what I was looking for and spent the next 3 1/2 hours digging through piles of dupioni, feathers, and fringe before reaching my $88 total and state of sewer's bliss.
In the middle of all of this mayhem, I stumbled upon the lace that is on my manager's old wedding dress which was priced at $139/yard. At this point I first crapped my pants and then decided I had no choice but to destroy the dress and capitalize on its components. Once again, thank you to my manager and let the masacre begin!
On a side note, I arrived at Joanne's this morning at 8:45 before realizing they open at 9 and waited impatiently while the imbeciles figured out how to get their scanners working. Once again, why Joanne's is the bane of my existence.
Open house free, I loaded up the car and trekked the 3 hours, just beyond Charlotte, to this fabric haven. I apparently was very unprepared because upon arrival I realized I didn't know what I was looking for and spent the next 3 1/2 hours digging through piles of dupioni, feathers, and fringe before reaching my $88 total and state of sewer's bliss.
In the middle of all of this mayhem, I stumbled upon the lace that is on my manager's old wedding dress which was priced at $139/yard. At this point I first crapped my pants and then decided I had no choice but to destroy the dress and capitalize on its components. Once again, thank you to my manager and let the masacre begin!
On a side note, I arrived at Joanne's this morning at 8:45 before realizing they open at 9 and waited impatiently while the imbeciles figured out how to get their scanners working. Once again, why Joanne's is the bane of my existence.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Swim Little Fish
Its been awhile since my last blog and here is the reason why...SNOW DAY! It snowed here this weekend and naturally, I was forced to drink hot chocolate and eat rice krispie treats instead of sewing.
Now that the snow is gone (kind of) its back to sewing and here is whats going on:
When they throw students into this class we have no real prior experience sewing anything unless its been on our own accord. The university sort of says "swim fishies...or sink, your choice." Due to this overwhelming stupidity I have run into some troubles i.e. I have no idea how to line garments and my order of operations is a little like the Sunday morning word scramble. Last week I spent twelve hours on Thursday in the dungeon and what I accomplished was mostly seam ripping and the slow but sure destruction of my fabric that ultimately resulted in round two of Joannes and another visit with the oh-so-enticing Friar Tuck. Somewhere into the sunset I forsee this becoming easier but for right now I'm on the East coast and the sunset is a long ways away.
In the mean time, big thanks to the people who are supporting me through donation. My aunt offered some old fashioned buttons that Lord knows I can't afford and my manager gave me her old wedding dress covered in absolutely amazing lace that I'm hesitant to destroy. If anyones got more goodies for me...share the wealth and keep an eye out for pictures, they're coming soon.
Now that the snow is gone (kind of) its back to sewing and here is whats going on:
When they throw students into this class we have no real prior experience sewing anything unless its been on our own accord. The university sort of says "swim fishies...or sink, your choice." Due to this overwhelming stupidity I have run into some troubles i.e. I have no idea how to line garments and my order of operations is a little like the Sunday morning word scramble. Last week I spent twelve hours on Thursday in the dungeon and what I accomplished was mostly seam ripping and the slow but sure destruction of my fabric that ultimately resulted in round two of Joannes and another visit with the oh-so-enticing Friar Tuck. Somewhere into the sunset I forsee this becoming easier but for right now I'm on the East coast and the sunset is a long ways away.
In the mean time, big thanks to the people who are supporting me through donation. My aunt offered some old fashioned buttons that Lord knows I can't afford and my manager gave me her old wedding dress covered in absolutely amazing lace that I'm hesitant to destroy. If anyones got more goodies for me...share the wealth and keep an eye out for pictures, they're coming soon.
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